


Belief

by CallToMuster



Series: Whumptober 2020 [5]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet Ending, But Not All The Way?, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Hurt/Comfort, Just read it lol, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Protective Anakin Skywalker, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Whumptober 2020, mostly?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26951371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallToMuster/pseuds/CallToMuster
Summary: “It’s me,” the man tells him for the fourth time. “It’s Anakin. I promise.”Obi-Wan says nothing. He has heard this before, from others. They too claimed to be Anakin Skywalker and shared his face. This is the eighth such person, in fact. But they were just a product of Ventress’s twisted imagination. Whether this person is the same remains to be seen.He must be cautious either way.{Written for Whumptober 2020. Day 11: "Defiance | Struggling". Sequel to my Day 5 Whumptober ficMine.}
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Series: Whumptober 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948819
Comments: 28
Kudos: 216





	Belief

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RedKyubii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedKyubii/gifts).



> This fic would not exist if not for RedKyubii, who really wanted to see a sequel to the Whumptober fic that came right before this, _Mine_. If you haven't read that one yet, you really should if you want to understand this one!

“It’s me,” the man tells him for the fourth time. “It’s Anakin. I promise.”

Obi-Wan says nothing. He has heard this before, from others. They too claimed to be Anakin Skywalker and shared his face. This is the eighth such person, in fact. But they were just a product of Ventress’s twisted imagination. Whether this person is the same remains to be seen. 

He must be cautious either way. 

“Do you believe me?” the man asks, pain threading his voice. The other Human man, the-man-who-might-be-Kix, winces.

“Let’s leave General Kenobi in peace for a little while, General Skywalker.”

This does not please the man who is calling himself Anakin Skywalker. Obi-Wan can feel the frustration rolling off him in waves and turning into anger, with some Darker emotion beneath. The man leans forward, hand outstretched.

Obi-Wan feels himself in turn flatten further against the walls in the corner he’s trying to melt into. He ducks his head, breathing quicker as his heart rate picks up. Dark, Dark, Dark… 

“No, oh, Obi-Wan, I’m sorry,” the man babbles, pulling back his hand and actively reigning in the emotions he had just projected into the Force. “That wasn’t at you, I’m sorry.”

Obi-Wan very carefully does not move. Ventress is mercurial, unpredictable. He doesn’t know what she’s told this man to do, so this apologetic act could be all a front for something worse yet to come. Best to keep silent, and still. 

“General,” the other man says to the first, and it is a reminder and a warning wrapped in one. 

“Right, yeah,” the man says, regret lacing his voice.

They leave, and the door locks behind them. 

The room they’re keeping him in is nice. Comfortable. The blankets on the bed are thick and soft. He has been given a variety of datapads loaded with his favorite books. The temperature is being kept higher than he knows is normal on a Star Destroyer; someone knows he’s always cold. But the door will not open for him. A gilded cell is still a cell. 

Obi-Wan is used to cells that do not look like cells now. Ventress had started traditional, with cold, wet stone and slatted bars, but now she keeps him caged with nothing but fear. 

Fear. It dominates him. Trying to remember a time when he did not have a blaring siren of fear constantly ringing in his head was impossible. His time Before was… cloudy. Out of reach. Like it was someone else’s life. He couldn’t focus on Before; he had to keep his mind on the present moment. 

But time slips through his fingers. He remains curled in the corner of the room for a long time. The position hurts his ribs, which never fully healed right after the last time Ventress kicked them in, but he dares not move. 

A few hours later, the door opens again. Obi-Wan, who has been languishing in the state of half-awareness that was the best he got to rest these days, feels his spine stiffen as he registers the same two presences enter the room. The man crouches a few meters away; the other man a couple feet behind him.

“Hey, Obi-Wan, it’s me,” the man says, as he has every time he has come to see Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan, keeping with tradition, does not answer. “Kix and I want to talk with you a bit about your medical treatment.”

A vicious jolt of panic spikes through him. He stops breathing for half a second before deliberately resuming -- can’t show weakness. But oh, he does not like this. No, not at all. The fourth time someone who looked like Anakin came for him, he was brought to a medbay by what appeared to be clone troopers. They tortured him there, as Ventress watched and gave directions. So this will be the same. Obi-Wan is just glad he knows what to expect now; he can prepare himself for that. 

The man frowns at Obi-Wan, like he is displeased with what Obi-Wan is thinking. The other man, the man-who-claims-to-be-Kix, casts a glance at the first man then returns his gaze to Obi-Wan and says, “We’ve been trying to give you as much autonomy as possible, but you’re getting worse. Medical scans are starting to show internal bleeding now. You really need to go in a bacta tank, sir.”

Ah, so waterboarding is their game here. Fun. Obi-Wan’s only aspirated bacta once before but it was a thoroughly unpleasant experience. Drowning, even fake drowning, is going to suck.

“We’re not going to drown you,” the first man says, and that is what finally makes Obi-Wan raise his head a bit. He is sure he did not say that out loud, which must mean the man has access to Obi-Wan’s mind. Somewhat early on in Obi-Wan’s captivity, Ventress rooted around inside Obi-Wan’s psyche. He is still not sure what exactly she did or what its effects on him are; he has either repressed the memory himself or Ventress has done it for him. But the man can get inside his head too; this above all else confirms to him that this man is another one of Ventress’s pawns.

“I’m _not_ one of Ventress’s _pawns,_ ” the man spits, looking angry at the mere implication. Obi-Wan flinches and regrets it immediately. Show too much weakness and they pounce on you, that is what Obi-Wan has learned the hard way. 

The man sighs, seemingly at himself, and ducks his head. “Damnit. Damnit.” He sounds… disappointed. He looks up at Obi-Wan again and shifts slightly on the balls of his feet where he is crouched on the ground. “Master, please. We just want to help you. You know you need bacta.”

Yes, Obi-Wan does know he needs bacta. He also knows that he is not going to get it from these two. 

Then the thought occurs to him: they _will_ give him bacta. Even if they put him in the tank without a mask, like he suspects, his body will still be submerged and will still get the healing it so desperately needs. And bacta is harder to tamper with than people realize; its natural regenerative properties see to that. Obi-Wan runs some quick cost-benefit analysis in his head, the kind he was renowned for. Is the healing worth the torture of waterboarding? Yes, it probably is, he thinks. They’re not actually going to let him drown. Obi-Wan’s tried to kill himself before and Ventress hasn’t let him; she’s not going to start now. 

He looks in the general direction of the men -- not in the eyes, never in the eyes -- and nods, slowly. 

Relief spills into the Force. 

“Thank you,” the man breathes, like Obi-Wan has offered him salvation. “Okay. Okay, great. Let’s go.” He looks at the other man. “Everything’s all prepped, right?”

The other man nods and stands up. The first man looks at his hand for a moment, then holds it out again, much slower this time. “Need help?”

Obi-Wan does not know what the help will cost him, so he stays silent and painfully pushes off the wall until he is standing. The man is disappointed but not enough to hit him yet. The door opens as the other man steps out, and the first man gestures for Obi-Wan to follow him. He does, reluctantly; he doesn’t want to be boxed in between these two, but he has no other option. Obi-Wan does not let his gaze leave the durasteel plating on the floor but he can still tell they’re in a medbay, or at least a very good approximation of one. The fact that it is just about identical to the medbay he knows means nothing. The medbay the fourth Anakin brought him to looked identical to the real thing as well. 

This part of the medbay seems deserted. Perhaps Ventress is trying to be cost effective and only felt like paying for two actors this time. Thinking about that elicits some wry amusement from him, and the first man, now walking besides him, gives him a look but says nothing. 

When they reach the bacta tanks, Obi-Wan’s resolve wavers a bit. He really, really hates being in the medbay, and he hates being in bacta tanks even more. Why did he agree to this? Sure, he really needs bacta if he is going to live, but there is a little voice in the back of his head telling him that it would be easier, nicer, better at this point to just die. 

The man-who-is-pretending-to-be-Anakin senses his second thoughts. 

“Hey, it’ll be okay, I promise,” he says. 

“You’ve said that before,” Obi-Wan’s mouth whispers before he can stop it. 

Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Oh, now he’s done it. Obi-Wan flinches and braces for the blows. When none come, he does not lower his guard. Ventress likes to be tricky.

“That wasn’t me,” the man says, as if every word pains him. “That wasn’t me, Obi-Wan. Those were people pretending to be me.” He sounds desperate.

“You’re not him either,” Obi-Wan murmurs because apparently he has no self-preservation instincts at all. 

“What do I have to do to make you believe me?” The man is fired up, he can tell, but he seems to be carefully holding himself as still as he can. “Do you want me to talk about the first time we met? It was on the Nubian ship on Tatooine. Master Qui-Gon was there, he introduced us. Or about the first time you took me to the Room of a Thousand Fountains, and I thought I was dreaming because I’d never seen so many green plants before and you laughed and showed me how to keep myself dry under the waterfalls? Or about when I had a nightmare when I was twelve and you let me stay with you the whole--”

“You’re not the only ‘Anakin’ to have known things,” Obi-Wan hisses, finally looking the man in the eyes. How dare this man throw Obi-Wan’s history with his Padawan at him as if that proves anything? 

The other man, who had been prepping the bacta tank for who-knows-what, pauses what he was doing then surreptitiously makes his leave. 

“What?” the man says dumbly. It is a familiar expression on Anakin’s face. Perhaps that is an uncharitable thought, but Obi-Wan is fed up with all these games. He wants Ventress to just kill him already and stop messing around. But she was always one to play with her food before eating it.

“You think you’re the first Anakin to have spun a little sob story? Try harder, honestly. It’s a little pathetic.”

The man visibly forces himself to calm down. “Obi-Wan. I know you’ve been through a lot. I get that, I really do. And it must have sucked so much to have five other people come in with my appearance and voice and stuff and tell you that you were safe. But it’s real this time, it is.” He looks so earnest. It makes Obi-Wan wants to laugh. Instead, he takes a deep breath. His body is aching something fierce, like one massive bruise, and he’s feeling a little dizzy.

“You know, the seventh time was probably the worst,” Obi-Wan muses. The man said five people. Perhaps some of them were repeats, because there have been more than that. “Because the sixth one, there was something odd about that particular man. It ended differently than the other ones did. So when the seventh person came, and said that the sixth one was the real Anakin and now he was back to finish rescuing me, I believed it easier than I should have. I think I just really wanted to and I let myself forget common sense.”

He looks at the man’s face and tries to pretend it is actually his former Padawan. “He _knew_ things. The other ones had known things, of course, but the seventh Anakin knew them on a different level. When he,” Obi-Wan breaks off and swallows. “When he inevitably brought me straight back to Ventress’s feet, it hurt so much. More than anything she could do to me physically.” He shakes his head. “I’m not going to let that happen again, I _can’t_.”

“Obi-Wan…” the man breathes, looking heartbroken. “That seventh guy wasn’t me. The sixth one was, but I failed, and I’m so, _so_ sorry about that, but I’m here now and you’re safe. You’re safe.” 

Obi-Wan was shaking his head before the man could finish. “If you are Anakin, and Anakin did actually show up at one point, then that just makes it even worse, because Ventress knew things only Anakin could have known, and that means Anakin told her.”

“Check your shields,” the man says gently. 

‘Why?’ is Obi-Wan’s immediate thought, but he does not voice it. Instead, he takes a few shuddering breaths and closes his eyes. He doesn’t… doesn’t know what to do. Hope is rising dangerously in his chest and he wants to rip it out as painfully as possible. But against his better judgement, Obi-Wan looks inward for the first time in months; it hurt before to look at, and it hurts now, but he will not shy away. His shields are in _tatters_. Almost completely destroyed, like someone has taken the foundations and knocked them out. Now that he looks, he can tell that his mind has been violated and left in disarray.

“She didn’t get that stuff from _me,_ Obi-Wan,” the man continues carefully. “She got it from _you_.”

Obi-Wan is still reeling from this revelation when the man gives him one last instruction. “Now look at me in the Force.”

He almost doesn’t do it, just because he knows it is pointless; Ventress has kept him on a variety of Force-suppressants designed to limit his ability to do anything with the Force. But instinct and subtle, burning hope override his common sense, and he does. 

What he feels almost makes him break down right there. Shining in the Force before him in all his glory is Anakin, his wonderful, frustrating, brilliant former Padawan. 

“It’s me, it’s Anakin,” the man says in a now-familiar mantra, but now Obi-Wan can actually let himself believe it. “I promise.”

Obi-Wan’s knees feel weak under him, and Anakin -- Anakin! -- catches him as he starts to fall. They end up clutching each other on the floor, Obi-Wan’s head carefully tucked into Anakin’s shoulder. It takes an embarrassingly long time for Obi-Wan to realize he is sobbing Anakin’s name again and again.

“It’s over, it’s over, it’s over,” Anakin is promising in response, and it just might be the truth. 

Obi-Wan does not heal easily from this, not physically and not mentally. His wounds are severe, and require several days-long stints in bacta and a few months of physical therapy, but eventually he is fit enough for duty again. His mind is a different matter. The four months Obi-Wan spent in Ventress’s hands have left him a changed man. He does not trust easily, and his newfound rampant paranoia is choking. Flashbacks have become an omnipresence in his life, and even with daily sessions with mind healers they cripple him. He thinks of his captor often, and with too much intensity.

There is nothing in the galaxy that scares him more than Asajj Ventress.

But Anakin is there, every step of the way. He walks Obi-Wan to physical therapy sessions and holds him when the flashbacks are too much. He takes himself off of active duty just so he can help Obi-Wan’s recovery, and if he misses it, he doesn’t let it show. And many, many months later, when Obi-Wan returns to the 212th and leads them not on campaigns but relief efforts, Anakin is nothing but supportive. 

Sometimes Obi-Wan wakes up and does not trust his senses, does not trust Anakin Skywalker. Anakin is patient with him then, and calmly and rationally explains why that is not true, that Obi-Wan is safe.

And most of the times, Obi-Wan believes it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Obi-Wan's about as good as he can possibly be at this point, which isn't perfect, but it's something. Hope the ending wasn't too dour for you, RedKyubii. :)
> 
> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> {Come talk with me on my [Tumblr](https://calltomuster.tumblr.com)!}


End file.
